Are you happy?

Crush, Mix, Burn, Repeat.
REO Speedwagon

—Keep On Loving You

Keep On Loving You- REO Speedwagon

Anonymous asked: May I ask how old you are?

"As old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth."
I’ve always been rather fond of that quote. I am twenty four years of age. 
If you would like to know more about me, I would love to speak with you off Anon. 

I liked being alone; At least, I convinced myself that I’m better off that way. And then I met someone. She changed me and then she left.

We’re better off alone.
We suffer alone. We die alone.
It doesn’t matter who you are. 


Last night was the most incredible night of my life. 
A wonderful young woman has taken me to places that, until a few days ago, I could not truly imagine. This beautiful city is so far from anything that I have ever known to exist, yet have always dreamt of seeing.
My companion and I walked down modern streets, bustling with people as we gazed up at great towering monoliths, columns of stone cut into shapes only Man’s mind could forge into reality; these shrines to thought and freedom stood like pillars holding up the skies.
I held her body close and kissed her.
She led me a short distance from the center of this haven, to a quiet back street bar where we lay down outside, upon a rug scattered with cushions. We smoked hookah, passing smoke between us before letting it drift up into the darkening sky.
We watched day become night and the lights of this city come alive.  

Last night was the most incredible night of my life. 

A wonderful young woman has taken me to places that, until a few days ago, I could not truly imagine. This beautiful city is so far from anything that I have ever known to exist, yet have always dreamt of seeing.

My companion and I walked down modern streets, bustling with people as we gazed up at great towering monoliths, columns of stone cut into shapes only Man’s mind could forge into reality; these shrines to thought and freedom stood like pillars holding up the skies.

I held her body close and kissed her.

She led me a short distance from the center of this haven, to a quiet back street bar where we lay down outside, upon a rug scattered with cushions. We smoked hookah, passing smoke between us before letting it drift up into the darkening sky.

We watched day become night and the lights of this city come alive.  

(via lapeaudememoire-deactivated2012)

Only you

I pull around me the bed sheets, under which we made love so many times.
I clutch the pillow to my chest as if it were you. I almost believe that I can still smell your scent on it, but that’s nonsense, any trace of you has been washed from this bedding months ago.

You visit me every night in my dreams; You kiss my forehead and tell me that this was all just a horrible nightmare. I cry into your shoulder as you hold me close. I clutch you tightly, never wanting to let go. I feel your heart beating against mine as tears fall from your cheeks. You would never leave me, you swear it. You told me that you would never leave and you will always keep that promise.
A smile forms at the corner of my mouth and I feel a certainty swell in my chest. Yes, you have never let me down. I’m so lucky to have someone so caring and understanding in my life. I close my eyes tight and take a deep breath. I can still feel your lips on mine, the way your hair feels as I run my fingertips through it, the look in your eyes when you smile into mine.
I beg you not to go.
I plead with you to let me stay with you here, in this dream land.
You cry harder and grip me firmly.
You tell me that everything will be okay and that I will make it through.

I don’t want to make it through.
I want only you.

I could write it in so many ways,
but honestly,
I just really fucking miss you.

Passion Attack (To Suffer)


I can feel it surging through my body, it bursts from my heart and rushes to my head, it delves deep into my gut, and spills out from my fingertips.
It manifests into anger, guilt, lust, regret, love, pain, desire and hatred.
It’s a shot of adrenaline directly into my blood stream. My mind is racing, my heart pounding, my breathing deep but unable to hold enough air as is demanded by my lungs.
It is as though I am experiencing the most urgently exciting death you could possibly imagine: A climax so intense that it promises to never burn out, an orgasm in which your whole body spasms and a rush of energy blinds your senses: like a jolt of electricity delivered from the heavens, directly through a lightening rod that has been driven violently through your naked chest; I am pure chaos, vibrating on a subatomic level, no longer a solid form, but a cloud of stardust burning with the power of long forgotten suns.
I throw my head back, bracing my entire body before screaming out into the night sky, a name that is scorched onto every fiber of my being.
The earth trembles and I cry so hard that God himself kneels before me and prays for my forgiveness. 
I grip his old graying hair and slit his divine throat. I drink the milky white nectar that gushes from his wound as he chokes and gargles on the last moments of his pathetic existence and regrets the day that I was born. 
I drop the old man in the dirt and spit on the shriveled sacred remains.
I stumble home, drunk on Ambrosia.
Black out.
When I come to, my body is glistening with sweat, hair matted, my thigh uncomfortably damp and there is a sweet, long forgotten stench of ammonia on bedding. 
Fuck. 

Stay- Hurts

Anonymous asked: What medication are you on and what's your diagnosis? I know this is an inappropriate question and I apologize if I offend. Of course, feel free to not indulge me.

I am not offended, but I would feel far more comfortable speaking about this privately, off anon.
I understand that this is a strange request, especially since I write so openly, for anyone to see. I suppose my writing feels much more vague and it leaves a little more room for interpretation.
Please contact me again. I would certainly like to speak with you.

Thank you. 

As the weekend draws near I fear the torment that awaits me.
I sit and wonder which part of the my love you will give away next.

Will there be a stranger in our home?
Will he speak to you kindly, offer you comfort and support through your traumatic ordeal?
Will he sit on the couch that I built for us?
Will he gaze upon your smile and feel a rush of excitement in his heart?
Will he sweep away the stunning moonglow hairs that have wandered across your face? 
Will he look deeply into your beautiful eyes with the adoration that they deserve?
Will he kiss the lips that I can’t stop dreaming of? 
Will his arm encircle your fantastic, trim waist? 
Will his hands grip your hips firmly, afraid to ever let you go?
Will he feel a swell of pride as you whisper his name and not mine?
Will he understand what it truly means to be so close to heaven without first meeting death? 
Will he know, as you undress for him, that there are thousands of men that would kill for just a glimpse of such beauty?
Will he think to kiss your spine gently as you press your self against him?
Will he whisper sweet words into your ear as he cups your perfectly formed breasts?
Will he be instantly blinded by the sensation of pressing into you for the very first time? 
Will he feel like a divine being as you grip him with the tightness you’re blessed with?
Will he notice that look of bliss upon your face as you feel him satisfying your urges in just the right way?
Will he move with you, perfectly in sync to prolong your pleasure as he worships you in the most meaningful way possible?
Will he kiss you as he fills you entirely and smile to himself as he causes you to tell him just how big he is?
Will he feel like your Superman as you moan for him and cum?
Will he press himself to you tightly and snarl that he adores you through the intense pleasure of your loving clench? 
Will he sink his teeth into your flesh as he spasms, filling you with his warm cum? 
Will he release you from his jaws and clutch you tightly to his chest, as he kisses the wound?
Will he look down at your beauty and feel a warmth in his heart while your bodies are still entwined?
Will he smile into you eyes once more and be emboldened to profess his feelings for you in the grandest gesture he could possibly imagine?
Will he cry with you as you whisper “yes” happily and you wrap yourself around him, your two bodies, a perfect one?
Will he promise with you a lifetime of happiness?
Will he kiss away your tears of joy and swear to keep you safe from harm?
Will he fall asleep deep inside of you as your love leaks in between?
Will he be the one that erases this love?
Will he be the one that gets you through the night?
Will he be the one that causes my name to become nothing but a memory?