So, life has been pretty shit recently. Being sacked from possibly, the best job I’ve ever had, was only the beginning. I went to someone I consider to be my closest friend, only to learn that I am a crazed stalker that should have known when that bridge burnt to fucking ash years ago, instead of clinging to the charred remains and riding them out to sea. Following that blow to my mental state, I thought that possibly another job could save me from my insanity. I was offered a job in Scunthorpe, a shit tip that is only a stones throw away from my poor, undeserving victim.
Obviously, I took the job, because I am now an unemployed maniac. How could I possibly fund this life of unhealthy obsessions otherwise?
Now, I arrived on the job with high hopes. It was not long before these hopes were crushed into oblivion.
My expectations of working twelve hour days were far from realised when I plummeted head first into eighteen hours of flames, filth, dust and darkness. Imagine hell, but realised on earth.
Now, I am all for a little crawling around in shit and swallowing mouth fulls of hydraulic oil, but this is fairly unrelenting and consistently depressing, even for someone with as low expectations as myself.
But wait! there is more.
Another close partner, got so utterly sick of my whining and moaning that she decided the only humane thing to do was to stab me in the heart with a perfectly forged blade of irony and emotion.
Now, I must admit, that I placed a good number of words in her mouth and may be exaggerating a great deal. But I am a melodramatic cunt and this post is supposed to make you, dear reader, feel overwhelming sympathy for me.
Strangely, during this troubled time, I have quickly and inexplicably formed a close bond with a young woman that seems to exist only in my mind.
She would no doubt like argue that she is very much real and I am not hallucinating, but I know differently. I’ve conjured ghosts and relationships from nothing but loneliness and desperation on an impressively regular basis. Nothing quite so convincing before, I confess, but I have an intensely vivid imagination when it comes to beautiful, emotionally scarred females.
My new lady of “high status” can read me like a badly written comedy and exposes the horrific tragedy that lurks beneath the surface with ease. She too, knows madness; Telling me what my brain already knows but in such a gentle, calming manner that I can’t help but feel a weight lifted from my heavy soul.
I swallow my medication and chase it down with an ill advised shot or two of Poland’s finest vodka. She exposes her naked flesh and makes love to me with words. Together we pen passion, desire, lust and love in the purest form known to nature.
I climax with a sensation that is almost enough to revive my long dead belief in heaven. If love exists, I will fall for its Goddess.
Venice, Venus, Veneration.