December 2011
17 posts
18 tags
May it be our finest year.
As New Year sweeps across the globe, I am left thinking of a great many things.
This has been the year that I vowed to better myself, with varying levels of success. I think that the overall outcome has been positive, although I have come so very close to losing everything, on more than one occasion.
Earlier this year I met a brilliant young man; he taught me things about myself that I...
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I don't know about heaven.
But I do believe in angels.
17 tags
Run. Away.
I fear that I am sinking my hooks too deep into your delicate flesh.
You and the phantom that haunts you have unfinished business.
Surely, this cannot end well.
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I don't believe in heaven.
I believe in pain, I believe in fear and I believe in death. There’s an army of bodies under this river; People who ran out of time, out of friends. I could feel the dead down there, reaching up to welcome me as one of their own.
It was an easy mistake to make.
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24/12/2011
The last few days I have been rather happy. I have busied myself with friendship and family; Today, I am absolutely sick of it. I think of you and how this time of year must feel. I think of all the pain that you suffer through and sorrow that dwells within your heart. I think of how I made it worse. How can I be content, knowing what I have done to you and knowing how you must be feeling? I...
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Tomorrow morning I am leaving this god forsaken place. While I have enjoyed the bare, solid walls around me and lack of temptation, I don’t not wish to spend another day in the company of the pathetic, worthless scum that I am forced to interact with. Also I there is a limit to how far I can fool my family and this is something I would rather not have them involved in. I have been advised...
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Man
As you may have noticed, I am still very much alive.
Ryan never did show, neither has he done so since. That’s what you get when you rely upon a deceased friend though, I guess. I sat upon the handrail, drinking and smoking until the bottle ran dry and the last embers of my final cigarette faded into the darkness. I have never felt so alone in all my 21 years. Tears fell from my cheeks and...
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“You just have to see her and you know that...
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“Just forget me, it’s that...
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"I’ve always hoped I would choose my death."
Its been four days since I last saw Ryan. Am I happy? Fuck that. I am alone, lost, tired and angry. I have been working relentlessly these last few weeks in an attempt to “cure” myself. But what is the point? I certainly feel no better for it. If anything, my mental state has deteriorated further. I am alone inside my own head and all I want to do is break out of it. I stood alone in...
November 2011
31 posts
28 tags
Flames and tranquillity
I tire of this place. I have been here far too long. My current contract is due to come to a close some time in the new year. That date, whenever it may be, cannot come soon enough. I am sick of the same thing, day in, day out. There is no peace for me to find upon these streets and it is not for lack of trying. Today I drove out to the lake I once regarded as my own personal heaven. It has only...