24/12/2011
The last few days I have been rather happy. I have busied myself with friendship and family; Today, I am absolutely sick of it.
I think of you and how this time of year must feel. I think of all the pain that you suffer through and sorrow that dwells within your heart. I think of how I made it worse. How can I be content, knowing what I have done to you and knowing how you must be feeling?
I cannot.
I feel even more pathetic when I think of this. I am without any real pain, loss or tragedy and yet I have been willing to leave this world on a number of occasions. The only loss I have suffered was not mine to feel.
The last thing I asked you was whether you were taking care of yourself. I received no reply.
I should burn for the things that I have done to you.
The night is young, there is still time.
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